This is one question bothering me. I just don’t feel like expressing much. It’s been like this for nearly a year or so now. There was a time when I loved to write. It was such an important aspect of who I was. This included poetry too. I had poems springing up in my head at times like when I am eating or driving and for gods sakes even in sleep or dreams. I remember at least 3 times when I was actually asleep n something was going in my head that seemed like a dream and some poem just happened I had to make an effort to get up n take it down because I may very well forget it till the next time I wake up. 2-3 poems have been written at time like 2 am or so in the night. And writing for anything I would hardly leave a chance. But for the past whole year I feel I have gone numb of sorts. Not that I don’t react or don’t rhyme but I just don’t feel like putting it down. Initially I was always excited to show some poem at least to my mom and dad and friends. Slowly I stopped showing it to friends. Everyone used to say I was too philosophical. Now I object to that, I mean “hello” how much philosophic can a 9th grader be. Although it was way back but not everyone dares to read or listen to my poems even now. Later somehow although I wrote I never bothered to even show it to my mom. And for the year and a half I don’t even bother to write. Some sort of numbness has come inside me.
I got a huge fire recently from a friend of mine about not blogging, about the real serious stuff that I keep saying or teachings or my observations etc. Even I thought why have I become so lazy? But no it’s not really laziness its some kind of numbness that I feel inside. I don’t know what it is or why is it. Maybe it’s because my mom kind of discouraged being too emotional,(I always wrote when I feel too emotional. She loved my poems but said well it’s a sign of being over emotional. Reading and writing have been my passion for as long as I remember. And I never cared if anyone liked what I wrote I just used to force them to read. But now I don’t know why I feel that what’s the point when no one bothers? That raises another question; since when did I start caring or considering if OTHERS care or bother or not. And I have been like this for say like more than a year or so. I don’t know if this numbness has any remedy or not or how long will it last. I really hope I get over it soon and be able to start active blogging. And fulfill the reason which made me even create this blog.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
You are the Sense of Sight
You are a very observant, detail oriented person.
You are able to take in a lot of information at once.
You often see things that other people never notice.
You have a good eye for design and aesthetics.
You love to be surrounded by beauty - natural or not.
When you imagine how something should look, you see it clearly in your mind.