Focus For The week

Last whole month has been crazy and what iam going through is quite chaotic.I have been caught up in polar opposite feelings right in the same moment.My life My mind are chaotic and Iam racing. I feel sad depressed frustrated angry ,on myself and those around me ..and yet at the same time ..there seems to be some stream of calmness a sense of acceptance n some observer of sorts who just smiles in fun at the chaos is also present. Most of the time outside I seem calm composed n silent but inside there is a stream of discontent that flows. So I feel caught up in what is the truth. I know that Both the things are real But some part of me knows ..although its real it does not necessary mean its the truth. So iam experiencing the chaos along with calmness. I do know that iam being very abstract,someone may feel iam being vague ..but no iam not vague ..iam being abstract,coz thats what this thing feels like and I do not have the skill as of now to put it simply.so i shall not make any further attempt.
As iam working with the healing cards...this is going to be my focus for the week to come.I know its going to help.